LET'S TALK IT OUT

By Riungu Jnr Ikiugu They had successfully executed the mission. We were all caught off guard  as we headed home from our day to day errands. There were gun shot sounds all over. Everyone and everything moving around, whether in a car or on foot, was stopped and guns loaded with bullets forcefully handed over to them. I was given a machine gun and by the time I knew what was happening, I was receiving orders from all over. It was a coup d'état. I have never held a gun before. I struggled with the machine gun to the beds of River Ruiru. I can remember killing tens of military men and thousands of civilians royal to Jakim, leader of the opposition. I raised my head to spot the presence of any enemy and a bullet struck my left limb. I was in pain. Immediately the bullet hit my left limb, I felt a stream of hot blood meander down my waist, through my thighs to the toes. I held the bullet wound with my palm to restrain blood that was now oozing out profusely. I leaned o...

The sun had risen early enough unlike other days, magnificently shining the rays directly at my face straight from the cloudless blue skies. The wind was wafting, directly flipping my old white Puma jersey in and out of my scraggy body structure as I sat at the balcony of Mzee Kimani’s old flats deep in the rural villages of Ruiru. My mind was busy in deep thoughts contemplating of an Indian girl I had met a few days ago. In between my thoughts, I often got jumbled and lost in the wilderness of thoughts of because I never had thought of dating a woman of an Indian origin. This was a strange happening; a strange feeling. However, as nature would have it, in my thoughts, I found my body, mind and soul attractively getting glued to this invisible fine-looking Indian woman girl. I would describe this Indian girl as one of the very few gorgeous Indian women I had seen in the streets of the ‘city under the sun’. You of course know that Nairobi is no-longer a city under the sun but a 'cit...

Three decades ago, dating a lady was as tough and hard as making a trip to Mt. Kenya hill top. The effort needed back then to finally have 'your lady' lay in bed required advance planning, strategizing and a proper implementation plan to be place. Indeed, only those with particular scales in project management ever succeeded in finally having that admired lady lay in bed. I too remember laying in bed was never common especially with the folks from deep in the village. What was common was laying in the bush to finally execute and implement your long planned 'sexual intimacy project'. The bush sex was common among the men and ladies from Kionyo and Muguru villages in Meru County. Probably, you had those villages from your County that were known for these bush sex strategies.  I don't blame them, I blame the lack of finances to treat the lady at a decent hotel.  Guys who had these special 'laying in bed-bush' skills had to walk miles, usually in the eveni...

His name is Francis. Francis claims to be a professional in tourism; guiding clients around the countrie`s beautiful flora and fauna. Unfortunately, he doesn't do that. Rather hires peoples cars, pays a little deposit and disappears with the balance long after accomplishing his chores. He is a man not to trust. From experience, this is what Joy Makena Mugambi, has to say about Francis, "Hi good people ,take care of one tour guide I hired ,he ran with my money after clients paid and ran away leaving my car unattended ,his name is Francis Ngugi Kamunyu, blocked me on facebook, hire him at your own risk" Joy had hired out her tourist van to Francis for close to two months. Two months of business and money making for Francis. But to Joy, it has been day and night agony having lost hundreds of thousands through this alleged con man Francis. Are these the kind of Kenyans we want to do business with? Do you want to loose your hard earned money? Then hire people like these...

When you’re riding, only the race in which you’re riding is important. Your Excellency the Late Mama Lucy Kibaki, you rode an important race. You roughed both the smooth and rough terrain and the cruel untimely death has stopped the race. Yes Mama, we will not cry or sympathize but celebrate a well lived life. A life of great achievement crossing borders, rivers, lakes and seas. May your soul Rest In Eternal Peace Mami. Lucy Kibaki and Mwai Kibaki Many might have hated you, many might have loved you while at the same time, few might have loved you. That is accepted and expected because no human being can satisfy the needs of all human creatures. Even the IEBC hasn't been able to meet the needs and expectations of all political parties; not even CORD. Regardless, we celebrate your legacy Mami; a renowned legacy of fighting for the women rights, media freedom and that of nurturing the young minds to pursue their dreams. The legacy of being a true loving wife to your Excelle...

I want to rightfully, correctly and clearly state my stand on safe abortion. However, before I scribe my stand on an issue that not many of you would wish to speak about, its statistically important to know about safe and unsafe abortion. Approximately, more that 470,000 women procure abortion in Kenya. Of these, interestingly 16.5% are between ages 10-19 years. Think of that. That age could qualify to be that of your daughter or my daughter. In addition, a significant number, 300,000 of these induced abortions take place in public hospitals. 37% of the women suffer severe complications, 40% suffer moderate complications while 23% suffer low complications. Significantly a huge number. With that shocking and blood shedding tears background, you can easily read my stand. Just like gays, lesbians, atheists, donkeys and all human beings need their rights, women too need rights to access and procure quality safe abortions without prejudice, discrimination and stigmatization. Kenyans...

The origin of the term ‘heckler’ lies in the textile industry where it referred to the workers tasked with smoothing out flax or hemp fibres using a heckle comb. By the early 19th century one local employer noted that they effectively controlled the trade dictating wages, conditions and bonuses, the latter most commonly taking the form of drink. And that's where heckling started. I have no problem with heckling as its a Kenyan's citizen democratic constitutional right to express [by way of protest] his or her anger on country's leadership etc. However, I have an angered opinion on the intellect, discipline, wisdom and character portrayed by the opposition leaders. Its stupid, awkward, retrogressive and barbaric. This is anyway not news to all Kenyans; you have in the past seen chaos in CORD's national elections, rallies, and now wait and see what gonna happen tomorrow in Kakamega. Are these the type of leaders who wish to seek elective posts in 2017? Sheep and pigs ar...

Sheikh Imam Rashid, the leader of the Salawatiya Muslim Mission in Ghana has claimed that patients suffering from HIV/AIDS could be cured within twenty-four hours using remedies from the Quran. The Tamale based cleric made the claims on Sunday while answering a question about Quranic Science and Healing powers on US based Qibla FM (www.Qiblafm.com). He said the Muslim Holy Book is a remedy to all of the world’s problems. “Twenty-Four hours is the maximum time to cure HIV/AIDS and Ebola. The Quran has cures to any disease that can come on the earth.” Sheikh Rashid who is also the CEO of the Salawat Health Restoration Center added that he has been abled to power a car with air, all using information from the Quran. This is total indoctronation...religious leaders should be careful on how they handle the so called 'Holy Books'. Sasa utasikia the likes of Pastor Kanyari telling us that according to the gospels, mkono ikfanya ufanye dhambi, kata....foolish indo...

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K M FB . Strangely , t he picture resembles a ladies boobs This is not the first time the discussions in Kilimani Mums facebook page are raising questions on the integrity of our women, wives, sisters and daughters. There has been heated debates ranging from private bedroom matters, relationships with Mpanga wa Kandos , popularly known by the mums as MWK , topics around the house-girls, popularly known as DH (I think it means domestic help) and more importantly, the women are now running to the largely followed social media page (with 88,000 followers) to seek advice on some of these topics. Kenyan men are worried that the women are in-turn receiving wrong advice that is doomed to bringing down the family unit. I received some concerns from  many Kenyan men who asked me to address this issue and share some of the post that they give me. The posts are indeed funny, crazy, interesting but at the same time very shocking. Are you not exposing yourself too much fellow Kenyan wom...

Since the broadcast of the pusillanimous, spineless, timid, nerve-racking, barbaric and intimidating assault to our very able men in green soldiers by the Al Shaabab cowards in Somali, I have all along been contemplating and researching on the preeminent way to appreciate not only the fallen soldiers but also those living and serving our country in various parts of this country and out of this country. Agony as grieved me, tears of sorrow have trickled down my chick, the thought of smuggling a gun and trekking to Somalia to fight along these soldiers has all along been lingering in my mind. But unfortunately, my efforts and powers are limited to just a pen, a paper and my thoughts. I hope my thoughts will touch many of my fellow Kenyans. A wounded Kenyan soldier, center,  is received by military officers  I have to say this to you dear Kenyans; we need to do more than just the # tag thing on the social media platforms. A times it beats my logic and just settles fo...

We probably  all have a cousin,  a sister or a close friend married to a douchbag. A man who has a dark hole where his brains are supposed to be. A man whose groins are his thinking engine. A man whose genitals are responsible for thousands of innocent fatherless children across different parts of this country; from Lamu to Busia and from Lake Victoria to Mandera Wajir deserts.  An egoist with a thinking capacity of black bathing towel. What annoys me most is that these female relatives and friends  embarrass the entire clan and society by marrying or having a child with such an egoist; a man who should be denied all conjugal rights in the world. Or maybe, an egoist who deserves castration using the crudest tools ever known in this world. I have NO apology to offer on the latter.  Honestly and sincerely, I don't know where women pick these imbeciles. But I have noticed that anytime I go out with a bunch of some of my very stupid friends, it is the never-do-w...

There was drama at Kiamuthanga village in Tigania East, Meru county, after irate women stormed the home of a 50-year-old woman whom they accused of luring young boys into bed. Hundreds of women chanting traditional curse songs thronged the homestead of Ms Karegi Thiura to protest her actions. The woman was then frog-marched to a field where a cursing ritual was conducted. LYNCHING The suspect had narrowly escaped lynching by young men who were threatening to strip and beat her up in public for disrespecting them. Ms Thiura, who is said to be of “Miriti” age group, was fined for having sex with sons of women her age group, which is against the community’s norms. Ms Monica Mutunyi, a resident, said the woman was ordered to pay EIGHT SUFURIAS OF FOOD COMPRISING FIVE SUFURIAS OF RICE THREE SUFURIAS OF SOUP. “The woman is a disgrace to the community and therefore an outcast. She is not allowed to talk to any woman in the village. Any woman found talking to her will be fi...

"IN CASE YOU MISSED THIS PERSONAL STATEMENT" Mugo Wa wairimu “I hereby invite all Kenyans, friends and foes alike to tune in to Citizen TV tonight. I encourage as many Kenyans as possible to watch it. Nothing is more difficult in this Kenya than trying to fight against a media armed with the most technologically sophisticated equipment; the media house responsible for this took the most partisan stand in 2013 elections. They are not God and whatever they say is not and will never be gospel truth. Serious, very serious allegations have been leveled against me. My enemies, political, business or otherwise have coalesced, in a most evil plot. This is the climax of months, no, years of scheming, with hundreds of thousands changing hands to permanently silence me. I do not intend to use this forum to defend myself or give my side of the story. I will also join the hundreds of thousands of Kenyans who will also be watching. I've fought many wars because of my convi...