THE DRUNKARDS OF KAHAWA WENDANI AND PROSTITUTES OF ZIMMERMAN

I assume when Njoki Chege recently spoke about the Kinoo and Roysambu men did so without well researched facts. I think too unlike me, she is not widely travelled both locally and internationally. Unfortunately, she is not well travelled even within the Nairobi area. Anyway, I forgive her for her blind knowledge and the ignorance to know her country to know facts of the things I write especially on the drunkards of Kahawa Wendani and prostitution in Zimmerman.

Kahawa Wendani is an estate-cum-market that borders the wealthy and rich Kahawa Sukari Estate. On the far end, there is the thug infested Githurai 45. If Njoki Chege wants the definition of the wealthy and rich people, let her travel to Kahawa Sukari estate….forget the Karen and Runda estates and the likes of akina Chris Kirubi…..its only in Kahawa Sukari where we have the low profile wealthy and rich people mainly of Meru origin.....sifa kwa Wameru yawa!! And for the gold diggers….if you want a ki-wealthy rich mzee…visit Kahawa Sukari…...just for sex and money.  If Njoki Chege also wants the definition of hustlers and drunkards, let her travel to Kahawa Wendani. I have never known where to rank this estate; is it a middle class, low class or what class is it? Akia Mungu sijui but I will ask the economists!!

I often visit Kahawa Wendani because I have a couple of friends; some drunkards of course. That doesn’t mean I am a drunkard. You will often find me there collecting garbage from the Mama Mboga dens; I mean collecting the left-overs from the Sukamas’ and the left over foods from the few hotels for my two chicken. Simply, I am a garbage collector. You can insult me for being a garbage collector but that’s how I earn a living.

Popularly known as ‘Kawa’ (In Kikuyu this means coffee) among the touts, Kahawa is an estate whose populace swank of having many bars than any eateries. I recently counted the number of bars just directly the Kahawa barracks and counted a total of 53 bars in one stream. Funny enough, next door there is a hospital; Kahawa Wendani Hospital. I understand most of the patients at this hospital are from these drinking dens….utasikia mtu amendugwa kisu juu ya Malaya, jamaa wamepigania kwa minajili ya shilingi kumi etc. Wendani is an estate where men, boys and even ladies value Blue Moon, Kenya Cane, Kibao more than they value Githeri. They however have protruding bellies- I guess not as a result of good feeding. Hii belly ni ya blue moon na matawi ya muguka. 

On a normal weekday, you will find all the bars crammed with revelers either drinking their favorite bottle (definitely a Blue Moon) or either chewing Miraa. Miraa for those who can afford. In the same bars, you will find a number of very young boys with the popular Muguka. Besides these boys, are very gorgeous and good-looking ladies who have been spoilt by the cheap liquor. Mututho, help these guys! A times I pause writing and ask, are these boys not occupied with anything to do? I had a discussion with a few of them and to my astonishment, majority are graduates from the universities whose dazzling future has been cut short by these despicable spirits. They are jobless by choice….pombe, sex…and sleep. Where do they get all this cash…..and in fact cash to buy seeeex, money to buy murio? Is sex in Kahawa Wendani that cheap or it’s the ladies who are cheap? I know Mr. Jakson Omollo and Professor Benarditto Kigue will kill me for exposing this…but am better dead after exposing this in white and black.

Kahawa Wendani is also populated by the Kenyan army employees’ majority of whom are ever idle…running no errands but drinking stupidly. I even wonder where they get the energy to protect our country…..pombe kila siku…Monday to Sunday. Anyway, I want no trouble with the state; let me leave our security men alone.  To me, the owners of these consumption dens are the only ones smiling all the way to the money stockpile…continue drinking dudes, I will also open a drinking den their soon when I graduate from collecting garbage for my two chicken.

Now who knows Zimmerman well? Before I graduated to living in Huruma, I lived in Zimmerman. And I am confident to say that Zimmerman is the home of prostitution!! Do you think prostitution is only in Koinange Street in Nairobi or in the Long Street in Cape Town? Then you are blindly wrong. For your information ladies, if different men frequent your house for sex in exchange of either rent payment or lunch or dinner, then you are a prostitute. Even if you agree to a 'friendly match', know you are also a prostitute.  Upende usipende, wewe ni Malaya. You are no different from the ladies in Koinange, River Rori or the ladies along simmers. You can take it to the lodging, I have no apologies to make, you are a prostitute.

Every Friday in Zimmerman, you will see cute, elegant and beautifully dressed ladies cat walking into the estate and others being driven in by the Toyota corolla show-off guys…what happens in this estate only them knows…again on Sunday evening, you will see the same men boys brandishing their Toyota's with the different ladies….Jameni, kwani hii kitu haiwachoshi?

Sex is sweet…..in my mother tongue, we say murio. But I think it’s sweet when it’s with someone you love….I wonder if the ‘hit and run’ guys enjoys sex…and whether the commercial sex workers get horny- especially those from Zimmerman!! Or do I need a practical session in Zimmerman? There is a ka-place called Sheraton in Zimmerman. I hear nowadays days there is a flat (houses in this area cannot qualify to be called apartments) in Sheraton that is a den of ‘hit and run’ for the residents of Zimmerman who need quick Lungula. In fact, the clients of these lodgings and the commercial sex workers in this area are not just from Zimmerman…..majority of the revelers who frequent Natives Bar and Grill, Roasters, Jambo Grill, Blue Springs etc end up in these cheap lodgings of Zimmerman; of course because they are not wealthy and rich…..they are hustlers. Kama mko na pesa si mwapeleke a 4-star hotel in town or even a 3-star in town! I sympathize with the cleaners who have to go through the wash and spread of the beddings at this lodging. And what is the HIV/AIDS infection rate in Zimmerman? I don’t know, and I wish I would know.

I may be absolutely incorrect about the drunkards of Kahawa Wendani and the prostitution in Zimmerman, but I am justified to put across my thoughts. After this, I know my good buddies Mr. Jakson Omollo and Professor Benarditto Kigue will justify my claims. I also know the ladies of Zimmerman will be yelling for my blood upon reading this…but please don’t. Just walk along the Co-operative bank street, Sheraton area, Canopy area at night and you will be flabbergasted… I will not mistake you for a prostitute. In fact, if Embassava guys visited this area at night, they would strip all the ladies naked. 

Work is work. Work without high flow of clients is not work...and that means no income thus low retarded country economic growth. For the prostitutes in Zimmerman, move on with your business- that's how you feed your family. For the bar owners, stock more of the Blue Moon..as that's the way to you being a millionaire. Finally for the Mama Mboga, please stock less of Sukuma just enough for my two chicken as these dudes seems not interested in their health; in deed my two chicken are more important for now.