HOUSE HELPS: A DEADLY TIME BOMB IN WAITING

They call them Mbochi, Maid, Domestic Managers (DM), Domestic Helps, Executive Helps, ‘Ari ba Ngugi’ and undoubtedly many more that I am not aware of. These are good names that  should ideally go hand in hand with how we treat them and in return how they treat and serve us too. 

I ponder majority of us at one time in our lives have hired ladies to serve as Mbochis’ in our homes either on fixed contract or a a walk-in-walk-out contract. It could have been our parents or our won selves. Like me who married at the age of 18 and now a happy dad of 7 children, six girls and one boy, I have had an encounter with approximately 20 house girls in my own house. I know you are laughing at me for having 7 children, just walk around, travel to my village Ntimene ya Muturi, you will meet a 50 year old with 21 children; one wife. Sijui alianza kuzaa akiwa miaka ngapi. Anyway, they are my children and nobody can tunya me. But at least I went for a DNA test to ascertain that the seven of them are all mine.

Recently a video http://investigator.co.ug/crime/4346-maid-tortured-baby-identified,-still-alive.html from Uganda of a house girl torturing a two year old girl went viral. The moment the clip was shared on my smart phone (I need to mention my smart phone, kwani only Luos are proud of themselves), I went shattering all over. First because I thought the baby was mine……..wait…..

”I saw the Mbochi and thought it was the Mbochi whom we have hired to take care of my little son since the physique and the entire body structure is like that of my house girl, her name is Nchabira Kimuntu. No wonder she is that big…ako na genes za Mmeru na Mkisii…..I am not ashamed that she eats like the output combination of those two genes. Wacha akule bora tu kijana wangu awe salama”

I stopped shattering and started crying seeing the baby undergo that torture. Did you see that clip...i couldn't finish watching it...that was inhuman, hurting and heartbreaking. I shed tears uncontrollably.  However, I could do little but just imagine baby Arnella was my own blood. Pole sana babe Arnella. 

Sometimes we necessary don’t need to blame the house girls for the vituko they do. If you have premeditated management, you must have come across a management style known as MBWA. MBWA is not a dog for this matter. It’s a management style meaning MANAGEMENT BY WALKING AROUND. In this style of management, the managers manage you by either standing by your side while maybe you do the cooking in the kitchen, while you do garbage collection in Kahawa, while you count the cash at the bank etc. I personally tend to think that this is the worst management style in history. From my own opinion, this is the style that most of our wives, mistresses, girlfriends and all the mipango ya kando apply to managing the house girls. No wonder at times these house girls turn devilish. Chunga dada, it’s a deadly time bomb in waiting. I bet most of the women managing these house helps apply the MBWA style of management. So don't complain if you find Githeri is just boiled and served your husband. It's your style of management.

House girls are a deadly time bomb that will blast anytime if caution is not taken mostly by the employers of these beings. A small percentage of these are angles but rare to get percentage. They can kill you or even 'sell' you to potential killers. Now tell me, how do you dictate on how much a house girl will eat in your own house? How do you leave in the morning for work and leave behind a half cupful of unga for her to cook? Not forgetting that you have locked the other shopping in your bedroom? Unataka msichana akule kwa polisi? If you are doing this what will make the house help not go down into feeding on the child’s porridge? Women, please stop this habit, feed the house girl like she is your own sister. Stop marking the unga with your hand palm so that you can tell when the house girl picked more unga. This is being selfish and inhuman.

You eat your dinner in the table room while the house girl is tucked at the kitchen near that fridge braving the fridge cold and the long stand- not even a chair to seat on. Others are forced to eat outside the house near that fire place in the name of avoiding the house girl seducing the husband. Who told you that house girls need your husbands? If you don't treat your husband well and make love to him appropriately, what do you expect?  Furthermore, if a man decides to elope with the house girl, you will do nothing to avoid it……they say love is blind. This reminds me sometimes back when a house girl we had for barely 6 months accused me to my wife that I wanted to have sex with her at a cost of Kenya shillings 20,000. Even MPs don’t give that amount of money to their mistresses…so who was I to give that amount of money for sex. Kwani I will die without sex? Thanks that my wife had trust in me. Are these house girls we treat like this not human beings? You eat fresh dinner and force her to eat the remnants from the lunch meal? Are these girls pigs? Women, continue treating the house like this and you will be surprised. The deadly time bomb will blast with no signs at all. Next time, you will find the baby fed on the dogs…..continue your MBWA style and you will see. Utajionea ya filauni wacha ya Musa.

Honestly women, how do you latch your house girl in the house so that she doesn’t get to kukatiwa by the watchmen and the caretakers? You think this is the best way to MBWA stylo her. If you think she can’t have sex with these watchmen, you will be astonished to one day find her with the watchman in your own matrimonial bed. Do you really love your own child? Then why lock her in the house? Continue like this and you will be surprised to find the house in frames to the loss of both your kid and the house help…you will then rot in jail.  Give the house girl freedom in the house, give her the freedom to watch news in the house, give her the freedom to lie in that expensive leather couch to watch Afro-cinema, give her the freedom to enjoy the meals you eat, talk to her well just like you will do to your own kids, and respect her just like you would respect other human beings. Maids are human beings and they deserve the best too.

Let’s not blame ourselves only. Even after treating these Mbochis to the best of our efforts, they will still act in a satanic manner. Picture this: While my firstborn was 3 months old, I had hired a Luhya house help, the very first house help, after someone convinced me and my wife that Lunyes are the best. When I met the Luhya house girl bathing my 3 year old queen with cold water, that was the end of the employment. I landed to her with blows and kicks, thanks to God am a trained Taekwondo expert. Nilimchapa slap ya furari fakini and a down ward foreign kick and sent her packing. Came another one. This time a Meru house girl. While eating supper, she asked me and my wife if there is a nearby place where we can buy her mugacha.  Mugacha is a Meru local brew. I couldn’t hide my laughter and I promised to buy her a ‘Kasuku of Mugacha” the following day. The following day was the end of her. Came the third one. This was a relatively cute house girl. I need to say this because its natures appreciation. I was informed that this cute looking house girl, was narrating to my own wife how smart, handsome and well dressing I am. Immediately I got this message from my wife, that was the end of her…I know temptations are there……kama pastor Victor Kanyiri can be tempted, if the Anglican Bishop caught in camera in lodging with a certain Cecilia can be tempted, if Jesus was tempted, who can’t?  

Despite all the problems that we have with our own house helps, we MUST learn to co-exist with our house helps. It will be heart-breaking to see another video of a house help mistreating a young queen- things that we can avoid. Let’s treat them well and expect the best from them. Let’s not treat them like chickens and expect the best out of them. In fact, I treat my two chicken better than some of you treat their house helps. It is a deadly time bomb, no one knows the hour, the minute or the day. Let's keep watch as we maintain the best relationships with these human beings.

House helps are not angels to read your mind- COMMUNICATION IS IMPORTANT.